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How to Optimize Relations Regardless of Your Extroversion or Introversion Level
Ever felt that you’re not growing because of your level of extroversion or introversion?
Finding it difficult to deal with an extrovert or an introvert?
We will share some key insights on how to optimize and get the best from these relations. In our spiritual section today we will discuss how one spiritual disease causes a lot of emotional, mental and materialistic loss.
Bismillah. Alhumdulillah. Wa Salat Al al-Salam wa rasulullah. This is your breakthrough coach, Zubair.
Whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert, first realize that there are certain natural positions and situations where we all perform our best. I believe that, if we find it important enough, we can change our comfort level with introversion or extroversion. And vice versa. But that is not the topic of this episode.
What we want to share today is, first, realize that you may be dealing with someone who is at the opposite extreme of your level of extroversion. In a personal relationship it can be a spouse or a child or a parent. As well as in professional relationships, it can be with your clients, direct report, team member or an up-line manager. Which means that either circumstances for engagement and connection for both of you are totally opposite.
Being aware of this is the first step.
Secondly, realize that there is nothing wrong with having natural preferences and to be in situations where you perform your best.
Let’s look at how you can optimize your relationships when dealing with someone at the opposite end of extroversion skill.
What is this choice about though?
It reflects the comfort you have around sharing your ideas, expressing your views and feelings and preferences in a group.
The group can be your friends, team members or strangers at a networking event. If you are an introvert at a networking event, you can optimize your experience by engaging with small groups or one-on-ones.
Choosing type and setting, or networking events that are best for you, or doing networking via one-on-one with coffee or tea.
If you are an extrovert, wanting to connect or get to know an introvert, you probably want to see how you can engage them and provide them a safe space while talking to them on a one-on-one basis or in a very small group.
If you are an introvert, having a lot of people-time, a lot of people exposure in your day, you may want to block some time in your own daily routine to have a quiet space for yourself. To work on capturing your ideas thoughts action steps or just to relax and unwind.
As an extrovert, if you see an introvert family member or a team member wanting to have his or her own space or quiet time, don’t think of this as personal. Don’t think that this means that they don’t want to be hanging around you.
When discussing ideas or wanting to get feedback and suggestions from family members or team members, you shall consider the opportunity for people to send their questions, suggestions or feedback via email or text or in one-on-one meetings because not everyone will be comfortable speaking up in front of a large group.
Likewise, instead of saying, and asking, “Does anybody have an idea?”, in a team meeting, consider reaching out to everyone around the table and giving them all an opportunity to speak. This may make it easier for introverts to speak up.
As any other traits we have been discussing,
this trait is not a yes or no answer.
It has levels and those level differ from person to person relation to relation and varies based on projects and circumstances.
Let’s move onto our spiritual section:
Several of us may have experienced:
– Loss of knowledge
– Lack of memory
– Loneliness
– Anxiety
– A habit of doing one thing, one bad action, after the other or
– Engaging in a bad habit and not being able to quit.
One of the core spiritual diseases that leads to all this is SIN.
Disobeying the creator. Not submitting to the Creator. The Most-Loving, The most merciful.
And we’ve been talking about this from the book The Disease and The Cure by ibn Qayyim (rahimahullah)
We’ll continue that topic, taking excerpts from his book and taking different narrations from his book. The first one that we’d like to share is a narration from Abdullah ibn Abbas (ra). He says that:
A good deed brings illumination to the face, light in the heart, power in the body and love in people’s hearts. A bad deeds shows as dullness in the face, darkness in the heart, weakness in the body, shortness of blessings and hatred in people’s hearts.
Now here’s another interesting look at that that he brings in his book:
There’s a notion of committing a sin, an act of wickedness an act of disobedience and being shy about it versus telling and bragging about it. To compare this, the Prophet of Allah ﷺ has been reported to have said:
All the sins of my followers will be forgiven except those who are the muhajireen.
Which means, those who commit a sin openly, or, disclose their sins to people.
An example of such disclosure is of a person who commits a sin at night, and although Allah has screened it, the people don’t know about it, but he goes in the morning and says ‘Oh So-and-so, I did such-and-such thing at night.’ He spent his night screened by his Lord. That means that nobody knew about it. But, in the morning he went on and exposed himself. He removed the screen, the curtain that Allah had put on his sin.
These are the people that the Prophet of Allah ﷺ is emphasizing that they will not be forgiven.
It’s one thing to do sins, and the next level is to go and talk about it and to brag about it.
At the same time, one of the reasons that Allah (swt) explains for all the corruption is the following verse in the Qur’an:
Corruption has appeared throughout the land and the sea because of what the people have earned. So he will let them taste his part of his consequences. That perhaps they will return to righteousness.
Another danger of committing and engaging in sins is that they may be a way of losing one’s faith. That can happen gradually in stages by entering of confusion and doubts in one’s heart or can happen via other stages as well.
One very comprehensive verse in Qur’an says:
And whatever strikes you of disaster it is for what your hands have earned. And he pardons much.
And finally, Allah (swt) explains that Allah does not remove a blessing. Allah does not decrease a blessing until the people change what is in them. Allah (swt) says:
That is because Allah will not change a favour which he has bestowed upon the people until they change what is within themselves. And indeed, Allah is all-hearing, all-knowing.
The reason for sharing these points was to reflect consistently on a daily basis several times in a day; “What types of disobediences am I falling into?”
- Why am I falling into them?
- How can I prevent that happening?
- How can I hasten into reaching out to Allah and seeking repentance from Allah (swt)?
The Creator of the heavens and the earth and what is between them. The Giver of tranquility, peace, happiness, calmness and The One who is completely able to provide me with what is beneficial for me and to prevent from me what is harmful for me.
If we start focusing on that, and start removing those things from our life, we will definitely see an increase in our emotional health, spiritual health and the ability of our bodies as well.
Until next time…
CLOSING DUA
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Muslim Mastery Breakthroughs is our weekly podcast series in which we share insights on how you can achieve breakthroughs in your life to unlock your spirituality, relationships, and mindset. You will get practical steps towards living a truly extraordinary and fulfilling life in sha Allah.
To check out previous episodes visit Breakthrough Podcast
Got questions or comments? Send us an email at breakthroughs at muslimmastery.com